Blurry Relationships


With any church, family, or organization there will be redefining moments. Why? Everything gets blurry! I fear that the Christian life gets blurry when personal preferences are substituted for living out the life that Jesus died for us to have. A Christian life replaces a self-centered contentious spirit with the fruit of love, joy, and peace … for God and other people. A relationship that gets blurry is a relationship that needs to be redefined.

When I met my wife, she was the Resident Director for the women’s dormitory. When we said our “I do’s” everything changed for me. Overnight, fifty ladies started calling me “Dad.” It was a little blurry for me and I think they persisted because of the overwhelming shock they saw in my eyes as I was experiencing, what was commonly known in the dorms as a “DTR” (Define The Relationship) moment.  Overnight, relationships can change. The blurriness of change was eliminated because the relationship was redefined. 

Our relationship with God does not need to be blurry. Jesus did not come to make us better; He came to give us life (John 10:10).
•    He came to give those who were blind and could not see the presence of God, sight.
•    He came to those who were stuck, and gave them the ability to walk and move in relationship to God.
•    He came to those who could not hear from God, and gave them an understanding of the words God speaks.

Granted, “We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:27-28) but as a Christian, we do not need to quote this scripture with some spiritual emphasis to justify that we are sinners. That’s blurry! Otherwise, God would have sent Jesus to die for some of our sins and establish a partial salvation that only brought a little glory to His Name.  God certainly did not give us His Spirit, the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the Dead (Ephesians 1:19-23) so that we could be partially cleansed and alive. Yes, we all have a sin nature within us, but that was nailed to the cross because “he who knew no sin became sin for us so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:17). If a God centered relationship is blurry, relating to Jesus needs to be redefined.

Our relationship with others does not need to be blurry. Paul would attribute blurry relationships with people because there is a form of godliness but a denial of His power (2 Timothy 3:1-5a). Our relationships get blurry when our Christian opinions supersedes what God actually says. God’s Word is powerful because it is absolute truth and it is the job of the Holy Spirit to guide us into absolute truth (John 14:15-21) because “He chose to give us birth through the Word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he has created” (James 1:18). If relating to others is blurry, we need a DTR so that we can see others in relationship to Jesus.

May the blurriness of our relationships be redefined so that Jesus is clearly seen.  

Pastor Jim